Again, things continued to get worse. Friday, June 3rd I was completely cut out of all communication. This was your last day, your last hours. Maybe people could say that they didnt know time was so short - but thats a lie. You can tell by this (my only communication) informing me that you were "still with us." Because there was clearly an expectation that you might not be. I would have to assume that some people would understand that these minutes were important to others besides themselves, but that did not seem to be the case. After this message, I waited for a follow up. But, this was it. My last communication.

 

From this first message, the "Jean is still with us," I just waited. There was no update. So, again, I followed up. The day before we were told we'd be able to come over at 3 (which was what I was waiting on) and figured Id double check. So I sent this message around lunchtime. There was no "circling back."

At 12:35 pm Nicole messaged me and asked if we were still allowed to go see you. She traveled in from Arizona and saw you briefly on Thursday. When she left, she had the same expectation as I did ... that we would see you again. I told her that I had heard nothing, but she told me she had received a small communication (more than me at least). At 10:53 she received a message from Ruth's number, sent by Miriam, and forwarded that along to me.

I still heard nothing, and Nicole only had this one communication. After hearing nothing, we decided to meet at a restaurant close to your house for lunch. We figured if we could be close, then we could get there fast. She and I met at a local Mexican restaurant at 2:10. While I was there, Nicole was receiving some communication. She was told we could not come over anymore. All visits were cancelled. But she was welcome to drop them off some lunch. Miriam also started communicating with her about final plans for Jean. They wanted the suit Jean wore to her wedding to be dropped of at the Funeral Home. As Nicole was from the South Side (where the funeral home was) they seemed to think she would be a good person to transport needed items. I received nothing. So I followed up myself.

Apparently, Miriam expected Nicole to be giving me some updates. I was not in a need-to-know situation. When I asked what the heck was going on ... she just asked (insinuated) that I was with Nicole. That would mean ... I knew what was going on?

After waiting and waiting all day - and never having a person directly contact me (apparently there was a group text sent that I was not on?) I was told that Ruth was no longer doing visitors. It was all too much for her. Nobody could come over. This is the message. This was my communication. On your last day. 

But, communicated to Nicole, she and I could deliver them lunch. Here is the group message from Miriam to Nicole and myself. At 4PM. Ruth was real excited about the tacos.

Nicole and I ordered a bunch of tacos. We went to drop them off - both feeling very angry. Nicole was really upset. She told Jean she would be back to visit and felt distraught over the idea of a broken promise. When we arrived, Michael came down. Despite the "no visitors" there was a house full. Miriam, Michael, Quinn, Ruths other sister ... and I dont remember who else. Michael looked exhausted. While out with us he was trying to get in touch with a new night nurse (the one from previous night was horrendous and messed up medication in addition to other things). He told us it was "like Lord of the Flies" in your condo with infighting and drama. I told Michael that Nicole needed to see Jean. He called up to get her visit approved, and brought her in while I waited downstairs. 

I pondered demanding the same thing. But it was already so bad. And I was so angry. I wanted my last memories of Jean to be ... peaceful? I said goodbye to her the day before, not knowing if there would be another day. And her last days were so horrific. I decided to say nothing. 

Nicole and I left there and I dropped her at a friends house around 5:30pm. A couple minutes later Miriam called to tell me that you died.