Why did I not push our Tale of Two Sisters Blog more? Imagine if we had years of writings I could pour over? If I could go back and re-read your thoughts and (sort of) messages meant just for me? We only have a few posts before that blog crashes out, but reading through them is like hearing your voice. Not like the short form language we evolved to with texting, but real words with descriptive communication. I have little things now, here and there, that make me pretty sure you're still here. I'm waiting for a snarky text or meme at any moment. But as the days and weeks pass, I won't have that. The space will grow. How long can I maintain my sanity without having you at the other end?

I didn't even think to check this when I wrote you yesterday. She did message me. Today I talked to Kathleen and she said maybe you had something to do with it. She's got a whole lot more God / spiritual stuff going on that we do (obv) ... but maybe she's right.

Wow. Now how do I explain to you that Mary Zickus commented on my post about you? Losing you is so huge, but losing her friendship was probably the second largest loss of my life. How many times did we talk about her? I can't even count.

I felt happy seeing her comment. How did she find me? Was it random? Has she been watching me in some way? Why did she not reach out more directly? Can we maybe be friends again? Is it weird if I contact her? I mean ... I just want to talk all of this through with you. You seemingly brought Nicole and Kathleen back together, can you do it for me too? I miss you so much already. Sitting here trying to figure what advice you'd give me now.

As the tributes just keep rolling in, I wish I could just tell you one more time how proud and lucky I was to have you as my sister.

I mean, who else is gonna laugh at this stuff but you?

Such a whirlwind of events today. I think this will be one of your last days with us, but it's also Brooke and Lukes last day of school. It's hard to pair such an exciting day (and time) with the most horrible time. But it does bring balance. There are so many milestones that our future holds, that you will not be a part of. But every one of those milestones will make me think of you. 

Today as Brooke wishes ME the "best day" I can only promise to try. Because I know that you would try to live the best day, and I have to do the same.

The End of Vampire Diaries

Yesterday I saw that Candice King was getting divorced. There seems to be some juicy gossip attached to it, so I did some additional searching.

I then found out that they're cancelling Legacies. https://ew.com/tv/legacies-cancellation-vampire-diaries-universe-ending/

You didn't follow my deep-dive into the world of Vampires by continuing with The Originals and then Legacies, because you had better stuff to do. Haha. But we talked about Vampire Diaries all the time, and I got you to binge yourself through all of its seasons.

Who will I talk to about my YA television & movie binging? Who else understands my relationship to these characters? When I saw the gossip about a characters divorce, I immediately wanted to talk about it with you. Instead I now send my thoughts into the abyss.