As we sang Happy Birthday (in horrible voices) she sat like this. After she blew out her candle I saw tears in her eyes.

I sent the boys on a walk and asked her what was wrong. She told me she missed you. She's been thinking about you all week, dreading today. Because you don't get to see her turn 14. And you don't get to see any of her birthdays. You don't get to see her grow up.

I assured her that you were so proud of her and you would be so proud of her today. And that you will always be a part of her birthday.

I also had to warn her that holidays will not be easy for a long time. And that was a pretty crappy thing to have to admit.