I've always gone to you for advice when it comes to managing relationships. I am hot headed and quick to put up walls, where you are the peace-keeper that diffuses situations. Though we approach things differently, because we have the same background it was easy to really get what was going on in the other persons head. I'd always tell you to speak up for yourself and stop being a doormat. You'd tell me to take a breath and not always burn every bridge. We'd eventually find our own solutions to the problems, but each of us would be a little more aggressive or passive thanks to our talks.

I'll always be able to hear your voice in future conflict, but in this case I'm not sure what you'd say. People became selfish and petty during your last days. They approached your services with a sense of cliquishness that alienated so many people. I mean, I had to find out your wake details by Googling your name. As your sister, the experience was horrifying. Adding the trauma on top of grief felt intentionally cruel. And it continued to progress to the point I just had to disconnect.

Here is the deal. If this was a third party (and not about you) I know what you'd say. You'd tell me to pause and think and figure out if my feelings were real or if I was just projecting my own baggage onto the situation. If I determined I was not crazy, then you'd say something along the lines of "fuck those assholes"

And here we are. 

Because the details are hurtful and your opinion in this case would be biased, in real life if you were here I would NOT talk about this situation with you. Telling you the truth would hurt your feelings, and your instinct to defend would hurt mine. Because I would not share this with you in real life, Im going to avoid providing the details here too. 

But now I face this WWJD moment. Because what you'd tell me to do would be different than what I intend to do. You'll always be my sister. In order to protect myself and keep my experiences and memories with you safe, I need to walk away.